catching ourselves when we falter

Today I'm going to tell you a story about me.  

The changes we have gone through as a family have changed me so much. What started as one simple thing; family travel. Turned into SO MUCH MORE. Our belief system and our daily habits had to be joined. So often we say one thing, but live another. Not on purpose of course, but life has a way of living us if we aren't paying very close attention.

Not on purpose of course, but life has a way of living us if we aren't paying very close attention.

For instance, we believed in quality family time, and not using too much technology, but we had cable TV, and we used it...much more than we should have. So we cut it out. We said we didn't believe that processed food was good for us, but every time we wanted a special treat...it was always something processed. And like any good mom, I told my children that their natural beauty is what counts (inside and out), but I put on make up every single day. 

I was raised to think that we needed make up to cover all of our flaws. From the 5th grade until the time I was 35 I woke up and put on my foundation, powder, eye shadow, mascara and lipgloss. It's hard to break a 25 year old habit...but I did...and I have begun to love not having to fix who I am.

But...and here is the point of the story...I live in a very intentional world. My friends have been cultivated out of a group of amazing women who stand for who they say they are. They have similar beliefs as myself; healthy food, limited technology, natural beauty, etc. I don't have to worry about how others see me, because I am always in a safe and loving environment. Until...my daughter announced that she wanted to try out public school. I had to go in and talk to the principle and the teacher and see other parents...I hadn't been in this kind of situation in years! 

It made me nervous, lord knows why, but it did. 

So, I automatically fell into old habits...I turned on a curling iron, and pulled out my makeup. Without even thinking I did myself up. Then, minutes before leaving I actually looked at myself in the mirror...and I laughed. I couldn't believe how ridiculous I looked. I looked like a person who was trying too hard...and more importantly, I didn't look like me. I had grown so accustomed to seeing MY face in the mirror that this false version of me looked silly. So I stopped and washed my face, then walked out the door, happy to feel like myself again.

I think it's important to really sit down and think about what your beliefs are, and then compare them to your actual life and see how it jives. In other words, you want to make sure your present day actions align with your convictions. I think that this is the most important part of living consciously. 

You want to make sure your present day actions align with your convictions.